breeze through your own with you head in the
clouds.........a bit vague eh?
????who are you????
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I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, but it would be nice if it would stop. I feel like I'm in some sort of rut. Nothing seems to interest me right now, not like it usually does.I feel like I'm emotionally constipated or something. I have no money, and won't for at least a couple more weeks; this entire paycheck went to paying back people I borrowed from earlier, and the next one will go to paying bills. With Jason's resignation at work, I could've become a lead CSR, which would mean more control and more money, but I don't have a car so the position went to Virak, one of my co-workers. He's a great guy and he'll make a good lead CSR, and I know if I had a car Paul would've made me one months ago. I'm not bitter with them, I'm angry at myself (and a little at mom, I've asked her a million times, literally, to teach me how to drive and she never does it. I could ask someone else, but I don't WANT anyone else, I want my MOM to teach me. Since I'm not exactly gonna be letting her in on my love life for a loooong time, heh, I need SOMETHING to share with her, right?)
I want to write, and I don't know what's stopping me. There's four or five great fandoms I could be writing for, and several Zim*Fics especially that I could be finishing, and I can't seem to touch any of them. I want to write on our comic, but I don't know..
Work isn't even all that hard, but I'm in a constant state of fatigue until my few days off; even those haven't allowed for any recovery, lately, as I'm still waking up earlier than I should be to do stuff I probably don't need to. And yet I can't remember the last time I left the house to do something other than work. This morning's the first time in a week I haven't felt like complete shite. And yet I do feel pretty crappy because of last night. Falling asleep in the middle of talking to someone is pretty fucking mean. I'm amazed you've been able to put up with me these last weeks, babeh. I don't deserve you. [kiss]
I don't need to be here. I need to be in LA. I need to have a car and an apartment and a life. But to do that I need money, at least some, and that's not happening just yet. Next year...?