Dominating Crimson (crimsonobsessor) wrote,
Dominating Crimson
crimsonobsessor

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Now I'm curious...

Thanks to my occasional, random habit of turning off the alarm in the morning, we both got up an hour late, went into work an hour late, and now I'm getting home an hour late. But I've had a bit of a roller-coaster few days, Idgie's Phoenix voice has returned, and DDD Secrets are tomorrow so I'm in a really good mood for now. Gonna try to catch up on old tags, put up some threads, then OMFG MAKE MORE SECRETS, and I may be on AIM at some point in the evening. But the events of the RP Anon Meme got me thinking, so now I'd like to pose a question to you guys! (Dear Tallest, that was a lot of commas...)

So... RP Anon Meme is over for now, and boy was it a hell of a ride. I love my RP so damn much. Even under the safety of anon there was surprisingly little wank, that made me uber happy.

Being a part of one of the few bits of negativity wasn't exactly pleasant, and I'll admit to stressing over that. Not because I give a damn what random*Anon thinks about my HMD/concrit history at DDD (as they were apparently unable or unwilling to back up anything they said, and they readily admitted to something I can only take as a grudge), but because there were other anons who brought up our behavior on the Meme with very valid points about how our responses were coming off. Hopefully we addressed their concerns, and I'm happy to apologize again for the ego trip it looked like we were taking. It wasn't what we intended, but I can easily see how it came off that way and I'm actually grateful for them pointing it out in a mostly polite way. Obviously it was something we needed to hear.

Anyway, I digress. The real interest I took out of the whole thing was for me it brought up a subject many of us have probably wondered about hundreds of times, online and offline.

What do you consider the right way to accept compliments? How do you respond to HMD love, good fic or fanart feedback, praise at work, or any other form of positive feedback, OL or IRL? I'm not talking about concrit that includes suggestions for improvement, as those give you something else to focus on and address. I'm talking about people simply telling you that you're doing a good job.

In those situations responding in one way can come off as egotistical, while responding another can come off as false modesty, so where's the happy medium? Especially on the internet, where sincerity can be a lot more difficult to detect, given the ever-present restriction of using just text. How do you guys handle this common situation?

Guess I'll start. Personally, I respond to any compliment I'm given, though I don't always know how to, and yeah, I sometimes do feel that I'm coming across as an ass. I wasn't joking when I said that I've still got a bit of the polite little Southern girl left in me. My mom did what she could to raise me right, and that was one of the things I got from her (along with others that have cause me embarrassment in the past. I still cringe when I recall someone making fun of me at a con for addressing Jhonen as 'Mr. Vasquez.' The rules of etiquette don't apply to all situations, and some of them have changed over time).

When it comes to what I actually say, I try to always say thank you, because, you know...that's what you do when someone compliments you. XD I let them know that I appreciate the compliment. If they said something specific I try to address that, like if they mentioned a specific scene in a fic I might say how fun it was to write, or say something about what was going through my head when I wrote it. If they mention my RP partner I'll usually gush over them, because I adore my RP partners. I have a tendency to get extremely excited about stuff, and sometimes I start to ramble or act overly enthusiastic, and this, I think, could come off as me flaunting my ego. That's something I know I need to look at and probably tone down.

One thing I try my damnedest not to do, though, is false modesty. Please, for the love of all that's good and slashy in the world, if you see me being falsely modest just slap me. I don't denigrate my own work, or pretend that I don't think it's very good. I know my stuff isn't the best thing ever, I do, but if I didn't think it was good I wouldn't be posting it. Srsly gais. I don't follow the philosophy that says anyone who takes pride in their work is an egomaniac, and if you're not really proud of what you're posting/doing then why post/do it? Guys, be proud of yourselves and your stuff, when it's warranted. Pride =/= ego, and a lot of good things (like a strong work ethic and pretty much every form of art in existence) are directly linked to taking pride in what you do.

[gets down off of soapbox]

Damn that was rambly. So give me input, people! How do YOU handle praise?
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