Additional Pairings: None
Author's Notes: Two beautiful years, and still going strong. I love you so much, Bridgie. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I'm happier now, with you, than I've ever been. [kisskiss] Happy Anniversary, babeh!
X-posted to toddkurtslash
Disclaimer: Closest-thing-to-bishounen-America's-got Kurt and the lovely and amazing Toad-Boy belong to Marvel, the WB, and probably bunches of other wonderful peoples. So do anyone else mentioned herein. I don't own them, I'm just a klepto who intends no harm and will return them when I'm done. Please dun hurt me.
“Are you fucking nuts?”
Kurt rolled his eyes at the squeal, careful to hide the gesture by feigning interest in the face-painting booth they’d just passed. “Did you change your name?”
He heaved an overly melodramatic sigh. “No, I’m not fucking nuts.”
Hunching his shoulders and stuffing his hands in his pocket, Todd glared at his boyfriend. “You must be, if you think you’re gonna drag me on that death trap. Do you know how many people get killed by those things every year?”
Kurt paused, freezing with a churro halfway to his lips, and gave Todd an amused glance. “Less than the people killed by cars. Or planes. Or bungee-jumping.”
Quickly covering up a frown, Kurt hopped in front of the other boy, placing one apparently normal hand on Todd’s chest. With the way things were going, he feared he’d have to resort to his patented ‘kicked puppy’ look soon. Heaven help his boyfriend if it came to that. “Come on, Todd! It’s not that bad, really! The whole ride is slow, right up to the end-“
“Where you get hit by a hundred foot drop of DOOM!” Clumsily, Todd dug into his pocket, picked out a wad of doodled on papers, a juice-stained receipt, and finally a brightly colored (albeit a bit bent) pamphlet, which he promptly began to wave in Kurt’s face.
“Did you even read the flyer? ‘The largest, fastest, most frightening descent in theme park history,’ ring any bells?” Todd threw his hands up, falling back a step, while his voice raised a few octaves. Under his clothes Kurt’s tail twitched, and he grinned toothily at a few people that were suddenly finding them fascinating.
“It’s only 85 feet…” Kurt replied, voice low and only a little desperate. Unfortunately, Todd would not be soothed. Stubbornly he planted his feet, crossing his arms and assuming another glare that would’ve been wonderfully effective, had it not been accompanied by a pout that made Kurt want to bite his lip.
“Why the hell’re you so determined to get me on the damn thing, anyway?”
“Because it’s fun!”
“Go by yourself then.”
“I want to go with YOU,” Kurt pleaded.
“Why?!” Todd’s voice wasn’t giving, and he met and held Kurt’s gaze. The elf dragged his eyes away, with difficulty.
The rhythmic tapping of Todd’s foot drowned out the screaming children and tinny music surrounding them. Finally, he raised one scruffy eyebrow and mimicked, “Because?”
Kurt rolled his eyes again, flung his arms up and stomped off, only to drag to a halt after a few steps. “Because everything’s more fun with you around. There, happy? Now will you go?”
Suddenly Todd was beside him, arm wrapped comfortably around his thin waist. “Happier, anyway,” he replied, giving Kurt a quick peck on the cheek. Kurt turned back to him with a smile, but the sincere frown on Todd’s face deflated his mood. “But I still ain’t convinced. Sorry Fuzzy. If you want me I’ll be over there buyin’ a big-ass foam cowboy hat and some Silly String to squirt you with when you get back.”
Todd made an exaggerated show of swirling his pinky around in his ear, accompanied by the appropriate wince. “Damn, dude, stop whinin’! People are startin’ to stare!”
“Todd, don’t make me beg…”
A lecherous look crossed the boy’s face. Seizing the only window of opportunity he’d been presented with so far, Kurt laid his hands on Todd’s chest, leaning in to whisper pleadingly in his ear. “What do I have to do to get you to come with me?”
Instead of the fluttering eyelids and discreet (or not-so-discreet) grope he’d hoped for, however, Todd only grabbed his hands and frowned. “Kurt, I can’t…”
“But why not?”
“’Cause I’m scared, okay?” He turned away, apparently determined to look anywhere but at his boyfriend’s crestfallen face, and ended up sticking his tongue out at a little girl whose wide eyes had been fixed on them for the past thirty seconds. With an indignant cry the little girl ran over to a ragged, middle-aged woman, and Todd turned his attention back to Kurt, a triumphant smirk settling back onto his face as if it had never left. “You don’t really want me with you anyway. And I sure as hell don’t wanna hurl all over those sexy cargos…”
Waving the subject away, Todd walked on, blissfully forgetting one important detail. That detail being that Kurt was one of the X-Men, and training with Wolverine made one nothing if not dangerously persistent. Within seconds he was grasping Todd’s slim wrist, and tugging gently in the direction of the ride.
“Todd, you’ll be fine," Kurt promised. "I’ll be with you! I’ll protect you, ja? Not that you’re going to need it, but it’s one of the advantages of dating a teleporter, remember?”
The stony silence was deafening. There was only one recourse left.
“Bitte, Todd,” Kurt continued, his eyes widening and his lower lip pouting just so. Somewhere, the structural frame of the universe shifted an infinitesimal margin.
“…Do you have any idea how much I hate you right now?”
To his credit, Kurt managed to keep the smug smile off his face. Mostly. “Not enough to outweigh the massive amounts of love you have for me?”
The leer was back, accompanied by a licking of pale lips with a green tongue. “Love? You mean that urge to jump you in the middle of an amusement park and ride you like a rollercoaster?”
Wrinkling his nose, Kurt dodged Todd’s groping fingers, only grinning when his back was turned. “You’re just jealous cause I won.”
“If you’re lucky. Now come on, the weather’s clearing up, the line’s going to get longer!”
They made their way to the infamous ride, Todd spending half the walk pretending not to be excited by the booths and walk-around characters and the other half being dragged by his ‘better half’. Kurt had been right about the line; as soon as they’d taken their place in it, droves of people began to flock to what was one of the only water-rides in the park. By the time the two boys reached the end, the line was one long chain of sweating, grumbling, squealing humanity.
Throughout the wait Todd was able to stay pretty cool. He barely fidgeted, and only asked about a dozen questions regarding the height of the drop, the speed of the drop, etc. The frown that had taken up permanent residence on his face even lifted as Kurt helped him get settled in the large, sturdy orange and red car, which seemed to have ample coverage over any and all delicate appendages.
Not that he didn’t demand the middle seat, but at least he wasn’t frowning.
Todd was just about to comment on how this might not be so bad when the car jerked to a start, at which point he yelped and grabbed onto Kurt’s arm. Trying not to wince, Kurt gave him a reassuring grin. “Teleporter, remember? Don’t worry.”
The responding look said quite eloquently that Todd was certain any attempts to teleport in the midst of the danger that was sure to befall them would be too late, or subject to some freak electrical storm or spatial rift that would somehow negate all powers. As they passed under the entranceway, a large stone structure flanked by torches, he leaned over and whispered, “Just…just warn me when it’s coming, okay?”
The hand Kurt placed on his shoulder was all the answer he got before the car lurched sickeningly to the side. Warning klaxons rang out, followed by a disgustingly calm voice asking visitors to please remain seated and someone would be with them shortly. Going from zero to panic in 5.2 seconds, Todd nearly shouted, only realizing at the last moment that they were still moving slowly and serenely down the ‘river’, and that the only danger they were in came from the robot dinosaur hissing menacingly from its perch on a gutted ‘boat’.
“Heh. That’s kinda cool, actu-“ Suddenly he was sporting a mouthful of water. Sputtering, he leaned over Kurt to spit over the side of their car, then wiped furiously at his tongue. Beside him Kurt was stifling laughter. “Fucking lizard!” Todd shouted towards the back of the car, but they had passed a bend in the river and his only response was the huff of a woman in the next row, whom had her hands firmly clamped around the ears of the wide-eyed preteen boy next to her.
The rest of the ride went by in a slow blur of snarling, flashing plastic teeth, and delighted shouts. Todd might have actually enjoyed himself if he had no clue of what was coming. By the time the massive T-Rex head lunged down at them from a copse of trees, he was filled with a dread that had nothing to do with the pseudo-saurs.
Warm fingers wrapped firmly around his shaking wrist. He could barely make out Kurt’s calm voice under the ear-splitting, bestial roar of the dinosaur, and the more frightening crash of hundreds of gallons hitting a spot somewhere far below them. Todd squeezed his eyes shut, and the world fell.
There was spray on his face. The others trapped with him on the gliding car were screaming, so was he. For a split second he was weightless. His breakfast, butterflies and a few crunchy beetles, was resurrected and fluttered about in his stomach. His panic peaked…
Something slim and strong coiled around his leg. Despite everything he opened his eyes, onto his boyfriend’s glimmering gold gaze and laughing face. Kurt turned to look ahead, and Todd followed.
The world was spread out below them. Rides and booths, tiny little figurines milling about between the stalls, and beyond, a massive metropolis, with towering buildings glinting pink and purple in the light of the setting sun.
Another scream escaped Todd, but his lips were curled at the corners. Then it was over. The car bottomed out with a sickening jolt, gravity reasserting itself, and both boys found themselves suddenly drenched, wheezing and laughing and clinging to each other. As the car slowly dragged to a halt and they waited for the other passengers to get off, Todd drawled, “Next time you drag me on vacation, it better be to Alaska, foo’.”
“Agreed!” Kurt replied. Todd didn’t have to know there were theme parks in Alaska. Not quite yet.
Yet More Author's Notes: This was based on the day a few weeks ago that Bridgie and I went to Universal Studios with our friends Bryan and Manda. In case you couldn't guess, I played the part of Todd XD. I took some artistic license in mentioning certain parts of the Jurassic Park ride, most notably the drop, which is enclosed (as far as I know, because unlike Todd I kept my eyes shut ;_;). Just pretend it's their universe's version of JP: The Ride! [Edit!!!!] Mucho gracias to mouse42 for the beta job! Though, I didn't actually change anything because when I opened the email attachment nothing WAS changed O_o. I think it got screwed up somewhere...but anyway, thanks Mouse XD [hugs]