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Crimson Obsession
homo sum; humani nihil mihi alienum est
Deccember 18th, 2004 - 10:03 am 
19th-Dec-2004 03:39 am
[Phoenix] X-Files Edgeworth.
Tawny was put to rest today. Mrs. England, who was fostering her for me back in Tennessee, had her put to sleep on the advice of the vet, due to mammary gland cancer and kidney infection. We'd suspected, but she hadn't even taken her to the vet before now, I thought once there was word I would've been told..

Tawny was one of the most beautiful creatures I've ever seen. Even at 13 she still looked and acted like a kitten, and her markings were more perfect than any calico I've laid eyes on - shapes of soft, layered orange and deep black on he back, thick snowy fur on her belly, legs, halfway up her sides, soft pink paw pads. Her face was my favorite type, not too round, not too long, and split in three exactly, black and orange on top, white everywhere else, a nose that matched her paw pads. Her eyes were pure yellow gold, deep and alive. She was gentle, only ever hissed in my defense. Every night she would sleep curled up beside me, and most of the time I was home she never left my side.

I meant to be able to get her back. I didn't want her to think she wasn't wanted. I mailed her some toys that I'd handled, and some treats, which were greeted with enthusiasm. I'll never be sure if it was because she recognized my scent, or was just having her usual reaction to catnip...

God, please return the love that was all she had to give. Let her know her mommy misses her, and always will. Her mommy never stopped loving her, and she was never unwanted. My little baby was the only constant in my life for so long, and until recently the one creature I felt knew every aspect of me. I loved her as much as I've loved anything, from the moment I saw her born. My little runt I wouldn't let mom get rid of.

19th-Dec-2004 08:34 am (UTC)

That's really hard, you being told afterwards. When they've been that close to you and been there for so long... She's beautiful, and I guarantee she knew you loved her. Pets do.

Words always sound so inadequate, I'm sorry if this comes across as trite. I'll be thinking of you, Tif. So many people I know don't get how upsetting it can be. I don't think you can unless you've been there. *hugs again*
19th-Dec-2004 10:56 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I'd do if my babies died. *hugs*
19th-Dec-2004 11:53 am (UTC)
Aww ;__; She's so pretty. I'm so sorry <3 I'm dreading the day I have to put my cats to sleep ;__;
19th-Dec-2004 12:02 pm (UTC) - <3
I'm sorry we didn't have the chance to get her back... -.- I'm sorry you had to leave her there in the first place..
19th-Dec-2004 12:56 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm so sorry, hun. People who don't have pets that close to them don't know how much it hurts. At the risk of sounding corney, those we love never really leave us. As for worrying that if she knew you loved her, animals know. They can feel your love from miles away. I'm sure she loved you as much as you loved her and I'm sure she's watching over you.

*another round of hugs*
19th-Dec-2004 09:08 pm (UTC)
I'm so so sorry Tif. I know how much she meant to you. If there's anything I can do let me know.
29th-Dec-2004 07:00 am (UTC)
That's so sad...
Cat's are awesome.
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