I was in such a mood tonight, and I don't even know why. I felt like shite. I still do, a bit, but after Bridgie talked to me for a while, and after reading some nice Todd/Kurtage by Mel, I'm feeling better. I think most of the mood itself was because it's that time of the month, anyway. I always feel like this around that time, to some degree. But it's worse right now.
I feel so useless. I'm broke. I've probably put more than $500 on my credit cards the past few months because I have no money to pay for anything. I have a job but my first paycheck was only $11 fucking dollars, and I don't get paid again till next Friday. I don't like Blockbusters. I hate having to deal with the customers, even though these customers so far haven't been the rat bastards most of my old customers were. I want a simple office job, where I can sit and type things into the computer aaaaaaall day, and never have to deal with anyone who's not a co-worker, but I don't really know how to go about finding such a job, and don't have experience with Microsoft Word, Excel, all that shite you need for a job like that. I'm gonna try to find one, but my hopes aren't very high right now. I need a job with set hours. I need full-time. I need day shifts and not having to guess at what my schedule's gonna be next week. I have to work tomorrow...I don't want to work tomorrow. If I end up on register, I'll have to deal with huge lines and not being able to check them out fast enough and not being able to sell any damn Movie Passes. If I'm on the floor, I'll get bored about ten minutes into my shift. I really don't want to work tomorrow.
Even here I feel like I'm failing. I hardly get the time to talk to people anymore, online. I've been a lazy bitch on the RP, and I feel so guilty over it. Poor Alo annd Mayumi already have plenty of problems, they shouldn't have to watch it die like it seems to be doing. I feel like I'm contributing to their problems, but I don't know how to get people posting again.
Happy things have happened the past few days. I got Invader Zim Vol. 2 (even though I put it on a credit card, just one more thing I really shouldn't have bought but fuck that, it's Zim damnit.) We haven't watched it yet ;_;. Come to think of it, we haven't watched the commentary from the first volume either. [sob] I rented SH4. Wanted to buy it, but dude, I have to STOP putting things on my credit card. I owe so many people XP. Anyway, the game rocks so far. It had us cowering under blankets last night, constantly going "Oh fuck, I don't want to go down that hall, something's gonna EAT me if I go down that hall, AAAAAH!!!!" We've only seen two creatures so far, the dogs (that sound like cheetahs O_o) and the floating corpse peoples. Oh, and that big worm thing that's tangled itself throughout the subway, but we haven't fought it yet, if it has to be fought. OMFG those corpse things won't die!!!! What the hell?!! Oh, giggled when I saw the bunny too. And we got Bridgie's mommy to play it this afternoon, she got almost as far as we did XD.
Saw the trailer for 'The Grudge'. Dude, I hate that name so much. Shouldn't it be 'The Curse'? Makes it sound like a bad B thriller or something, but anyway, the trailer is so beautiful. I recognize so many scenes right out of the Japanese original and the one Mikey showed me and Tim. Especially that scene with the boy sitting on the couch while the person looks out the window, and you hear the 'Mraaaaaaaowr' cat noise OMFGSCARY!!!! <3 That was one of my favorite parts in Ju-on! The remake comes out in Oct., the 22nd to be exact. I'm making Bridgie take me first day, because I MUST SEE IT.
Speaking of Halloween, I'm starting work on a Halloween CD(s). But I need more songs. Does anyone have any really good scary or funny/scary songs I should add to it? I'll list later all the ones I have so far (there's a LOT). Wonder if I could find the theme song from Monsters in My Pocket... Oooh, or Aaah! Real Monsters!!
Need to start work on my costume too. I wanna be Evo-Mystique <3 Need a red wig and blue body paint. O_o Where the hell do I find those?
Need to see RE:Apocalypse. So badly.
Dude, I should be so happy with all of this going on. What the fuck? Stupid fucking hormones... Do insurance plans cover getting your tubes tied? XPPPPP Think I'll go post a stupid customer moment in the bbv_drones community. And bug Bridgie for some ice cream. I could really use some ice cream right now.