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Crimson Obsession
homo sum; humani nihil mihi alienum est
In the meantime... 
10th-Sep-2004 11:34 pm
[Phoenix] X-Files Edgeworth.
I'll make a longer LJ entry later, and post some things I thought I'd posted (like a fic rec) but hadn't. I was gone for the past couple of days because of company. Namely, Diesel and Bloodystarz, AKA Bryan and Amanda, were here for the week. We had tons of fun and Bridgie and I both miss them <3

I was in such a mood tonight, and I don't even know why. I felt like shite. I still do, a bit, but after Bridgie talked to me for a while, and after reading some nice Todd/Kurtage by Mel, I'm feeling better. I think most of the mood itself was because it's that time of the month, anyway. I always feel like this around that time, to some degree. But it's worse right now.

I feel so useless. I'm broke. I've probably put more than $500 on my credit cards the past few months because I have no money to pay for anything. I have a job but my first paycheck was only $11 fucking dollars, and I don't get paid again till next Friday. I don't like Blockbusters. I hate having to deal with the customers, even though these customers so far haven't been the rat bastards most of my old customers were. I want a simple office job, where I can sit and type things into the computer aaaaaaall day, and never have to deal with anyone who's not a co-worker, but I don't really know how to go about finding such a job, and don't have experience with Microsoft Word, Excel, all that shite you need for a job like that. I'm gonna try to find one, but my hopes aren't very high right now. I need a job with set hours. I need full-time. I need day shifts and not having to guess at what my schedule's gonna be next week. I have to work tomorrow...I don't want to work tomorrow. If I end up on register, I'll have to deal with huge lines and not being able to check them out fast enough and not being able to sell any damn Movie Passes. If I'm on the floor, I'll get bored about ten minutes into my shift. I really don't want to work tomorrow.

Even here I feel like I'm failing. I hardly get the time to talk to people anymore, online. I've been a lazy bitch on the RP, and I feel so guilty over it. Poor Alo annd Mayumi already have plenty of problems, they shouldn't have to watch it die like it seems to be doing. I feel like I'm contributing to their problems, but I don't know how to get people posting again.

Happy things have happened the past few days. I got Invader Zim Vol. 2 (even though I put it on a credit card, just one more thing I really shouldn't have bought but fuck that, it's Zim damnit.) We haven't watched it yet ;_;. Come to think of it, we haven't watched the commentary from the first volume either. [sob] I rented SH4. Wanted to buy it, but dude, I have to STOP putting things on my credit card. I owe so many people XP. Anyway, the game rocks so far. It had us cowering under blankets last night, constantly going "Oh fuck, I don't want to go down that hall, something's gonna EAT me if I go down that hall, AAAAAH!!!!" We've only seen two creatures so far, the dogs (that sound like cheetahs O_o) and the floating corpse peoples. Oh, and that big worm thing that's tangled itself throughout the subway, but we haven't fought it yet, if it has to be fought. OMFG those corpse things won't die!!!! What the hell?!! Oh, giggled when I saw the bunny too. And we got Bridgie's mommy to play it this afternoon, she got almost as far as we did XD.

Saw the trailer for 'The Grudge'. Dude, I hate that name so much. Shouldn't it be 'The Curse'? Makes it sound like a bad B thriller or something, but anyway, the trailer is so beautiful. I recognize so many scenes right out of the Japanese original and the one Mikey showed me and Tim. Especially that scene with the boy sitting on the couch while the person looks out the window, and you hear the 'Mraaaaaaaowr' cat noise OMFGSCARY!!!! <3 That was one of my favorite parts in Ju-on! The remake comes out in Oct., the 22nd to be exact. I'm making Bridgie take me first day, because I MUST SEE IT.

Speaking of Halloween, I'm starting work on a Halloween CD(s). But I need more songs. Does anyone have any really good scary or funny/scary songs I should add to it? I'll list later all the ones I have so far (there's a LOT). Wonder if I could find the theme song from Monsters in My Pocket... Oooh, or Aaah! Real Monsters!!

Need to start work on my costume too. I wanna be Evo-Mystique <3 Need a red wig and blue body paint. O_o Where the hell do I find those?

Need to see RE:Apocalypse. So badly.

Dude, I should be so happy with all of this going on. What the fuck? Stupid fucking hormones... Do insurance plans cover getting your tubes tied? XPPPPP Think I'll go post a stupid customer moment in the bbv_drones community. And bug Bridgie for some ice cream. I could really use some ice cream right now.
11th-Sep-2004 01:25 am (UTC)
At least when we don't hear from you for three weeks we get a really long LJ post to catch us up to things. You're not a failure. Never were. Jobs (good ones) are just hard to come by. You'll make it. Ummmm...hmmmm...what do I say next? STOP WORRYING. Just enjoy being out of Tennessee. BTW, I'm going back two weeks from now and I already hate it. Jeez. Jason was gonna go to Massachusetts I believe, Tony was gonna go to Texas, Matt was gonna go to the Marines...all of my friends we're planning on leaving. You and I were the only people with the balls/ovaries to actually get up off our asses and chase after what we wanted. Just look at it that way. *Hugs*

Oh yeah....I sort of agreed to do a weekly comic strip for that site I'm writing for. God help me. Its 3:30am. I have to work soon. I'm rambling now. Time for sleep.
11th-Sep-2004 03:55 am (UTC)
I don't know how to get people posting again.

There's quite a few of us who havn't given up, and we were thinking of starting a new thread to get things started, but I think we need alot of us to be realy energetic about getting the momentum started again. We need to look at what we can make of MC, instead of sitting there looking at how it is. yeah, enough of my 4 am babblings :D

dude, you should take pictures of your evo-Mystique :D That would rock.
11th-Sep-2004 06:46 am (UTC)
Augh, your job sounds exactly like mine. *hugs* I'm sorry, babe. No one should have to work at sucky places like Blockbuster or Barnes and Noble.

And don't worry about the RP thing. Compared to the shit that's happened to me lately, it barely registers anymore.
11th-Sep-2004 08:31 am (UTC)
I'm sorry I didn't get you ice cream last night.. ;-; Stupid Animal Crossing eating my soul...

Sweetie, please don't be discouraged. One of the last things I want is to see you upset like this. I wish I knew how to make it better for you... I know you don't like your job, but we're gonna work hard to get you another one, okay? Maybe another one for me, too. I really hate being a cashier and I especially hate not being able to see you so often because our work schedules conflict.

I hadn't realized how much you'd put on your credit card... Now I feel bad for asking you to buy me those things you did. ;-; I'm sorry, baby... I won't contribute to your bills anymore, I promise.

I think we should do what my mom originally suggested and apply for meter reading. $14/hour with benefits. We can join the union, be protected, work day shifts with weekends off, guaranteed. Does that sound good? Let's do that, yeah?

And.. please don't feel like you're failing.. I want you to be happy. If you're unhappy, I feel like I've failed you.. Nobody here is mad at you. They understand your situation and are waiting patiently for you to get on your feet.

I love you so much... I don't want you to be upset. ;-; <3
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