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Crimson Obsession
homo sum; humani nihil mihi alienum est
Drabble: Over the Hedge - RJ/Hammy 
28th-May-2006 07:50 pm
Oh noes!
Why yes, yes I am going to hell. :D

Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I owe nothing, they belong to Michael Fry and T. Lewis and the gang at Dreamworks, wonderful people, all of them!



Lovingly Tripping

RJ tripped along sweetly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Hammy, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a skunk hopping along, carrying a pink lawn flamingo in its mouth.

RJ was almost on the move when he came across a strong cake, lying alone on a fast plate. "That must be a treat from my cute bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked godly, so he ate it.

It gave him the most clever tingling sensation in his teeth. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Hammy.

When Hammy came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" RJ cried crackifiedly.

"Your tail! And your nose!" Hammy said. "They're fluffy! Can't you feel it?"

RJ felt his tail and his nose. They were indeed quite fluffy. "Oh, no!" RJ said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that strong cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Hammy said. "I got you an adhesive medical strip. It must have been that smelly man who lives nearby. He acts a little stupidly, ever since he hugged a cookie."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" RJ sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Hammy said happily, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your tail is really hungry like that."

"Really?" RJ dried her tears. RJ kissed Hammy and it was an entirely hyper sensation, like sand through the hourglass.

They spent the night having entirely hyper sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.


Made with the lovely Drabble-Matic! XD Check out the Todd/Kurt creations here!
Comments 
29th-May-2006 05:32 pm (UTC)
:D How wonderful! *snorful*
29th-May-2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
Someone needs to find me some real RJ/Hammy or RJ/Verne. I would swoon for either of those. XD
25th-Jun-2006 08:02 pm (UTC)
See, now I'm slightly disappointed - just watched Over the Hedge, remembered you posted this but I never read it, but now I want actual RJ/Hammy! XD

"Will you help me find my nuts?"

25th-Jun-2006 08:08 pm (UTC)
OH MY SWEET TALLEST I'm not the only one anymore!!!! Everybody seemed to think I was such a freak for wanting cute G-rated Over the Hedge slash! Does this mean you'll write me some? XD
25th-Jun-2006 08:52 pm (UTC)
Um... I don't know. I might, if I can think of something to write... I will if you will? :P
25th-Jun-2006 08:53 pm (UTC)
Haha, I'm tempted. I'd have to see the movie again.

We're horrible people, aren't we? :D
25th-Jun-2006 08:58 pm (UTC)
Uh... maybe...

But they're just so freakin' cute! And it'd be all sweet and G-rated!
25th-Jun-2006 09:59 pm (UTC)
Yes they are, and yes, it would be!!

...May I steal that icon?!
25th-Jun-2006 10:07 pm (UTC)
Heh, yeah sure! :D
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