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Crimson Obsession
homo sum; humani nihil mihi alienum est
... 
13th-Jul-2004 05:34 pm
[Phoenix] X-Files Edgeworth.
I'm sorry I haven't been around. First the move, now...

I still don't know what to say, or how to feel. Omi was one of my best friends around here. Sadly, considering how much I keep in touch with my friends, that's not saying as much as I'd like it to. I didn't talk to her as often as I wanted, or should have. But when we did talk it was always a total blast, and Bridgie was far closer to her than I. She was important to me, and I didn't realize how important until now. I can't stop thinking about the ones who had the git of being closer to her, the ones to whom she was so much a part of their lives. Mayumi, her girlfriend: wherever there was Omi there was Mayumi. I've never seen a pair so perfect for each other, a pair that were so much like two halves of one perfect being. Alo, her friend, her Pietro. They were gonna move in with him, were gonna paint New Orleans in all kinds of beautiful, happy gay colors, heh. Her family, who I don't even know but empathize with to a degree that scares me.

The night she was shot, Bridgie was talking to her. They were joking around -- Omi was saying she wanted us to have a big happy lesbian orgy with her and Mayumi. When we said we were too selfish to share, she said she'd just have to get us drunk, and that she would get us drugged instead but that would probably cost $20 and she was cheap. We laughed, then Bridgie left for about a half hour. We were gonna lay down and turn off the lights, pretend to be asleep so her niece would go to sleep and leave us some privacy. When we came back a half hour later, Omi was gone. We didn't find out what happened until the next day.

Bridgie hasn't slept more than a few hours a night, and even when she does I think it's bad sleep. I try to keep myself distracted, because if I don't I know the tears are gonna come again, and won't stop. It's happened a couple times now, and just when I think I'm composed, I'll think of Mayumi's phone posts, or of Alo's voice when he called last night, and I'll start all over again.

Last we heard, from the journal of Omi's roommate, the guy Omi was with has started responding to the cops' questions. They were getting cigarettes -- a person in the shop asked for a ride, so they dropped him off at an apartment complex. He shot them both, at point blank range, and took off. Until now I wasn't truly sure of my stand on the death penalty. This fucker should die. He should lose whatever hopes he had, whatever opportunities may have been in his future, and his end will never be painful enough to make up for what he's done. The absolute senselessness, the cold cruelty of this unspeakable act... It's beyond comprehension, it truly is. I still can't quite believe it could've been so...heartless. Wrong. Someone please, find this sick son of a bitch.

---

Take care of the people you love. Let them know, every second, just how much you love them. Don't let them doubt it for a moment. Never, ever part with only harsh words -- you never know if those are the last words they'll ever hear you say. Love each other, because in the end, that's all we have. Each other. And that we often have for far too short a time.

Mayumi, Bridgie and I want to send you something. Can we please have an address to ship it to? [Edit: Bridgie tells me we already have an address, so we're gonna get the thing tomorrow and ship it the next day if we can. It's not much but I hope it'll be some small comfort.] Please know you have all the love we have to give, and that we're here, no matter what you need. Alo, the same goes for you. I can't even begin to comprehend... If I could take the pain from you in any way, I would. We love you both, so much, and we love her, always.

Rest in perfect peace, Amanda. You are missed.
----

'The other one... The one at the end... I think I fell in love with her, a little bit. Isn't that dumb? But it was like I knew her. Like she was my oldest, dearest friend. The kind of person you can tell anyone to, no matter how bad, and they'd still love you, because they know you. I wanted to go with her. I wanted her to notice me. And then she stopped walking. Under the moon, she stopped. And she looked at us. She looked at me.

Maybe she was trying to tell me something; I don't know. She probably didn't even know I was there. But I'll always love her. All my life.'
-Sandman: World's End, Neil Gaiman

'Only the phoenix arises and does not descend. And everything changes. And nothing is truly lost.'
-Sandman: The Wake, Neil Gaiman

'All journeys leave marks on us.'
-Sandman: The Kindly Ones, Neil Gaiman



'If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.'
-The Crow
Comments 
13th-Jul-2004 05:50 pm (UTC)
This is just horrible. If there is true justice in this world, I hope to god that it finds this bastard. I didn't really know her, buts its obvious that she was dear to you. Thats enough for me to care too. Its always the ones we love most that are taken away so early. Again, I'm sorry.
13th-Jul-2004 06:27 pm (UTC) - [loves]
Thanks man. I'm sorry I haven't been around to talk to you. Just didn't feel up to it, you know? I wish you and I could get our hands on that fucker. Between the two of us (and anyone else that wanted to join in, I know there'd be MANY) we could come up with a kind of end he only deserves.

I knew you were the kind of guy who could hurt like this, even when you didn't know her, because you just care that much. Love you man, and please keep Mayumi and Alo in your thoughts. They're both such great people.
13th-Jul-2004 07:34 pm (UTC) - Re: [loves]
Its ok, after i found out what all this was about I can understand not wanting to talk. I'm with you tho. God help this man if we ever get a hold of him. Wait, he doesn't deserve God's help. Punishment should be left up to those most hurt by this. However, if they need assistance, I'm always available.

I hope its slow, painful and merciless.
13th-Jul-2004 06:05 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I... I don't have words. I can't think of anything to say. I just... I hope the guy who did this gets found, by law and by justice. Granted that the government won't have this man suffer half as much as you lot will be doing right now, but it'll be something.

It's almost impossibly hard losing a friend, especially when you feel you didn't talk to them as often as you feel you should have, but... but if what they say is true and your life flashes before your eyes when you die, I'm certain the memories that would have flashed of you would all be good ones.

I can't think of anything to say or do that would really make things better now, but if it's any comfort (even if you're not a christian), I'll pray for you guys, I really will. I really will.

*hugs*
13th-Jul-2004 06:22 pm (UTC) - Thank you.
As I just told another friend, the only way this fucker could get what he deserves would be him suffering an extending torture session, handled by someone with skills to rival Nny, lasting many many days, and then to have each and every trace of the pain these mourners are feeling right now shoved into his brain psychically, sans lube, and replayed over and over and over, ad infinitum.

Actually, I am christian, to a degree, in that I believe in God and Jesus and all that, and even if I wasn't just knowing you're thinking about us helps. The people who need it the most are Mayumi and Alo though. They deserve so much more than we can give them right now. I hope they see this, and see that you guys care so much. [hugs]
14th-Jul-2004 05:35 pm (UTC)
::big hug::


I don't know what to say... I just wanted to let you know I'm here, and I care.
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